A few laughs for you Halloween enthusiasts....

Someecards is always a must for holiday fun. If you've never been there - go there now and check out the always "classy" list of cards you can send on any occasion.

Enjoy with a pinch of sarcasm.

Chopbiscuit recipes: Sunday football fiery thai wings

If you want to spice up your Sunday football wings or just any wing occassion - whip up these easy and killer thai chicken wings and use the marinade for any and all meat or seafood. This always works well for tempeh and tofu as well. I recently created this recipe after wishing I was grilling wings on the big fire we had in our firepit out back of my home. The firewood was a lot branches and a large tree all downed by the recent storms and hurricane Irene.

Thai Berry Ginger Bomb Wings  (A very "TSA friendly" reference)

2 pounds wings trimmed, washed and patted dry

2.5 TBSP ginger, minced
3 TBSP white onion, minced
2 TBSP Thai chili sauce
3 TBSP chili garlic sauce
2 TBSP rice vinegar
3 TBSP soy sauce
4 TBSP mixed berry jam (Sarabeth's)

Toss together and marinate. The longer the better and bring the meat to room temperature before grilling. U-4 shrimp would also work for this recipe.

Be Well, eat good food and know thy farmer!

Grind it! It's Friday!

A Friday food challenge for you this weekend...

Go find a farmer/rancher close by your town that produces humanely raised grass fed beef and make some of the best burgers in you life. If you can't find the grinder attachment to your mixer don't fret. Maybe panic, but don't fret. A quick trip to about any antique store nabs you a perfectly fine grinder for a few cheap bucks and you look cool cranking this sucker in front of friends. Maybe a little awkward for tweens though.

Make it look as if you have been making burgers like this since you were a kid. There is a great saying that fits here perfectly, "If eating a shit sandwich, never complain about the bread." Well, since you are eating local meat your next step is finding a great bakery. Give this to someone else on your team (little Jimmy and his laptop will search it out). Make sure you think out side the box. Look for the most enriched baby bun or bread and slice it. Think brioche or challah.  You can make a cool square mini bun with the challah since it is already different than a bun. Remember that quality always trumps size and shape. You really want the egg and/or butter in the bun so when you heat, toast, or grill it - the fats come alive and give another level to your creation.

So go have some fun making killer burgers during a great fall football weekend and most importantly have some fun with friends, family and food. Send me a personal request and I'll send you a recipe or create something on the spot according to your taste and flavor direction. Ya dig!

Peace

Tomato Smartassery: Why I leave my red friends behind during the winter season

Enjoy the unripened flavor of your winter tomato

As old man winter comes rumbling through the northeast, it's appropriate timing for this post about tomatoes. I'm making a commitment this winter in terms of how and what I eat. Eating seasonally is always something I did when it seemed fitting, but this winter I will stick to my values and hold myself to them. Mark this down - I will not touch a tomato until it's seasonally appropriate. I'm doing this for a few reasons.

(1) They taste like shit - translucent, spongy and complete lack of flavor.
(2) My disdain for the tomato manufacturing business of "Sunny" Florida.

If you've never read about the tomato farms downs down in Florida, check out this read from Eatocracy.
These green tomatoes are picked when they are unripe, taken back to a warehouse, packed in boxes, which are stacked on pallets and moved into storage areas where they're exposed to ethylene gas. The gas forces the tomatoes to turn the right color; it doesn't ripen them. So, if you've ever wondered why your tomato caprese or mozzarella salad lacks flavor in late January - you know why. The great thing about technology is that everyone can understand how food is naturally grown and the demeaning processes used to serve you everything, everywhere at all times. You can't tell me when you walk into your Grocer in February and see all the pints of strawberries everywhere, that they are going to have the robust flavor and the plump juiciness you would expect from a summer strawberry right? Of course not.

For me it's not a passionate humanitarian mission or showing my disdain as I do for factory farming, it's just a matter of principal. I'm just tired of eating shitty tomatoes and I believe restaurants and grocers should consider removing them off the menu for this period of time.

Imagine that statement "Sorry everyone, we just don't want to serve you shitty tomatoes. Come back and see us in late spring."

That's what I call honesty and integrity at the highest level.

{Taste} Saint Louis

There are certain cities you just really look forward to visiting for one reason or another and St Louis is at the top of my list. I love finding these secret little places where you can find a great beverage made by a young lady who not only showed wisdom well beyond her years she is looking to find her place in a cool country. Taste on Laclede is truly a great little speakeasy where you can get lost in conversation eat a great meal washed down by a tasty beverage and leave feeling like you just visited friends in a great part of town.

My pals Vito and Craig have done it again with the opening of Mad Tomato in Clayton. Chef V has gotten back to his roots of cooking and curing on levels that very few chefs in the country can master. And the pasta -  oh the pasta!  Every single little piece of pasta or long sheets are all made within a foot your table. Vito & Craig really understand food and the connection to it. Thanks guys for an incredible meal with some incredible friends.

Peace

The Artisan Can of Soda - An industry Quagmire

Bruce Horowitz from The USA Today wrote a great article about how Marketers are using the artisan label approach to evoke more sales of their products. It showed the obvious trend of the plagiarist mentality of big retail marketers and their ability to confuse the masses with false promotions of "crafted" products.

Why don't we look at the actual definition of Artisan.

Artisan: One that produces something (as cheese or wine) in limited of limited quantities, often in traditional methods.

So now there's Domino's Artisan Pizza, Tostitos Artisan Recipes chips and of course, Starbucks has Artisan Breakfast Sandwiches. If you walk the isles of your local grocer you're sure to see an Artisan substitute for any commodity product from the big brands. In a certain way you have to laugh at the impudence of some companies to take themselves seriously in the world of "traditionally produced goods". I understand that big business has to replicate on defining and emerging trends to stay ahead of the curve. They need to understand the consumer psyche at a granular level and market to that base to make sure their brand fits with the shifting tide of buyers preferences.

It's the whole "You can put lipstick on a pig............" mantra that none of these folks ever seem to really understand. I'm going to use an example. Most of you know that I like good craft beer and often write about beer drinking culture.

Let's take a look at Genesee Beer, for over 125 years Genesee (the brewery's first beer) has been an American icon. Today, every can, bottle and pint glass delivers the same full taste and quality that made it famous in 1878. Brewed with six-row barley malt, corn grits and hops from the Yakima Valley, Genesee Beer will forever be a classic. As beer culture has been flipped upside down by craft beer, Genesee has never tried to flip the company and play in that world. They are a commodity beer brand that produces easy drinking lagers and Cream Ales. They have a customer target, and they stick to their principles. I'm sure we will never see Genesee Brewery ever jump into compete with Samual Adams. It's not their core competency to do so.

So, having said all of that - let me introduce you to Chet Hammerton. You're welcome.

Chopbiscuit pompous wine review: Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau 2008 {Say What}

Welcome to Chopbiscuit's elitist, smarty pants and stiff-neck wine review. We will be completely patronizing and pretentious as we review some of our favorite wines. As we do with with the barley pop, we will review anything from your local "box" of magistracy or the most pompous french cardinal blush.

Now, go get me some crackers and turn on the Bravo network for some clever metrosexual programming.

What I drank: Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau 2008 (Say that with a wad of crackers in your mouth)

I'm not going to lie here, this was the bottom dweller bottle of red on our wine rack. It was a party gift from one of our friends that has been lingering for quite some time now. I was curious about this bottle because it was a wine that was bottled from grapes that were picked a couple weeks prior. It's goal is to give the drinker a peak at the quality of that particular seasons vintage. Interesting eh?

It had some poignant cherry notes with a decent, light body. It didn't have much complexity or maturity, but was an easy drinking red that I could throw down while watching some football. Yes, you can drink wine and watch football. It's Ok, as long as you have some Busch Light in the fridge to even you out a bit. It's not a wine to bring out with a nice dinner, but is suitable to enjoy while performing long division.

The 112th Oktoberfest Chilli Cook-off And/Or a glossy 8x10

I will be holding a signing at your local Borders...Oh, wait?

The 2012 Annual Oktoberfest Chili cook-off has come and gone, but the sediment will sit in the bottom of our digestive tract for weeks to come. We had eight great entries this year, but in the end we had a clear winner. We also had a couple great brews provided by Mr. Adam from Adirondack Brewery. Again, we didn't raise any money for local charities, but everyone (including these lovely ladies above) were able to go home with a signed glossy 8x10 from yours truly. As you can tell, these ladies were uber excited about my head shot and I'm sure those photographs are framed, sitting on a mantle or strategically placed in their home where people will no doubt question "Who's that Dapper man with the corduroy kangol"?

When we wrapped up the night, Nick went home with the covenant magnetic strip of bacon for the second year in a row. I will be providing some pictures from the festivities and some recipes from winning chili's.

God bless Tums.

We're tumbling on Tumblr

For most of you that know me, I'm a humorist at heart. So, I've created a little Tumblr site for me to ramble some of my witty one-liners about culture and food. So, if you just used your {free} AOL CD to hop on the world wide web for the fist time, head on over to Chopbiscuit on Tumblr to see what it's like for someone that has a deranged view on the world of food silliness.

Oh, we'll also have pictures of unicorns and all their glory.

Starbucks getting blonde highlights - Daily Links

Are you enjoying the blonde my dear?

Starbucks unveils blonde roast coffee

Starbucks is going blonde. The coffee company known for its dark-roasted beans unveiled its lighter blend "Starbucks Blonde Roast" Tuesday, as it tries to reach a wider base of consumers. Starbucks has long faced criticism from people who think its coffee is too dark or bitter. The company said it developed the new roast for the large number of U.S. consumers who prefer a lighter-tasting coffee.

The 10 most controversial restaurant policies

No Kids? Screaming baby isn't everyone's favorite dining soundtrack, so in order to minimize complaints, some restaurants insist parents leave their kids at home with the sitter. While it's primarily a noise issue, it's also a safety issue. Kids are prone to run around restaurants and may get hurt in high-traffic areas where service staff are passing by quickly.

Curried Butternut Squash soup with Heirloom tomatoes (recipe - fromscratchclub)

I have made butternut squash soup many, many times, but this time needed to find a way to incorporate the tail-end of the season’s heirloom tomatoes.  I had acquired a number of tomatoes from my CSA share and felt the pressure to get them consumed.  I altered my usual butternut squash soup recipe to accommodate the flavors of the tomatoes and this is what I came up with.

Barlett Pear Chutney with Dried Cherries and Ginger (recipe - foodinjars)

I like my chutneys to be a little bit sweet, strongly flavored and quite acidic. As it’s written, the Bi-Rite version just didn’t give quite me what I want from a chutney (though I adored their choices in fruits and flavors). I pumped up the amount of vinegar, sugar and grated ginger, added quite a bit more liquid and quadrupled the cooking time, so that it could simmer, thicken and soften without running dry.

Top Ten Fall Beers

Fall is a season that has the word "beer" written all over it. Cool nights unleash the craving for hearty beers, whose colors mirror those of the turning leaves. Fall brews are more flavorful and more substantial than summer's bright quenchers. Colors get deeper and flavors get toastier as the tastes of the harvest table call out for malty partners. It doesn't take much to trade up to luxury in the beer world, so why not live a little? Check out one of these world-class brews next time you're cruising the six-pack aisle. From seasonal specialties to solid stand-bys, from innovative American craft brews to international ambassadors of style, autumn's finest offerings await.

Look who's back - Joanne!

I’m back with another video!  I actually filmed this Cheddar Scallion Biscuits video about a week ago (you will notice I’m wearing the same clothes as the Potato Video), but I just had not gotten around to editing it until this past weekend.  You may also notice that my personality is starting to come out a lot more…and if you’ve ever read my written “hehehe” in my posts, you can see what a real life Joanne “hehehe” sounds like about 3/4 through the video.  I can’t help myself or hide my giddiness (and really, I don’t think I should).  Thanks again for being so supportive with my video making!  It’s more enjoyable filming when I know others are enjoying the clips. Enjoy!  I’ll be posting a recipe tomorrow.